comfortably numb
by Neko Kitty chan
Summary: REVISED Seto Kaiba reflects on the death of his dearest love, and in the end, makes a drastic decision to get him back. (WARNING: suicide, character death)


Disclaimer: -_- if i owned yu-gi-oh, i'd be rich as hell and Duke and Joey would be my filfthy  
  
man whore prostitutes. have you ever seen either one of them in leather hot pants? then i obviously  
  
don't own yu-gi-oh.  
  
(A/N: Ok. currently, i'm in the middle of a fic entitled 'la casa de los muertos'. you've probably seen it  
  
around. how ever, do to the severe lack of reviews, i'm writing this. don't worry, i'm still going to continue  
  
writing that, i just thought i'd write another one shot. now, unlike my last one shot which sadly got reported and removed  
  
*glares at vindictive* this is a non-lemon. it's just very very depressing..that's why it's rated R. it's S/J,  
  
just like all my other fics. this is just a little note, Joey's dead. it's a little confusing the way i laid it out..  
  
i'll explain how he died. don't get me wrong, i LOVE Joey! i mean, serious love here man! can't you just feel the love in   
  
the room? we're talkin obesssion here *eye twitches as i assume the fetal position and begin to hum  
  
'can you feel the love tonight'* any way, it's a suicide fic. *sniffle* SO sad! it's done to pink floyd's comfortably numb.   
  
LOVE pink floyd! he's great. and so is this song. *doesn't own that either* this fic, i must admit, is a little weeeeird.  
  
and confusing. it was kinda pulled out of my head at exactly 2:32 am strictly out of pure bordom. it's VERY angsty too!  
  
what can i say? i like to make people cry. only because that's the best way to make them feel. sorrow is the strongest   
  
and most intense emotion you can feel after all. so here it is. my *sniffle* suicide fic. *runs in room crying*  
  
~~~~~~~~~*Seto's P.O.V*~~~~~~~~~~  
  
{Hello? Is there anybody in there?   
  
Just nod if you can hear me.   
  
Is there anyone at home? }  
  
It's raining again, I reflect as the cold wet drops of nothingness pitter patter on the side walks and   
  
various objects of the empty city i reside in.The place i call home. But home is no where.   
  
No where with out him. He once called this city home too. And my home was with him, So i guess that  
  
made this my home. But now that he's gone, it's only a collection of large buildings reaching out to the cloudy sky   
  
filled with empty unfamiliar faces,Ordinary people going about their daily lives as if nothing matters.   
  
How is it possible that they can be so happy, So care-free, And so completely unaware of the tragedy that had made   
  
it's self known in my life? It's as if none of this exists to them. None of this is real. I feel like i'm standing in the   
  
middle of a crowded room, Screaming at the top of my lungs, Yet none of them even look up. None of them give me the   
  
common curtosy of a pat on the back or an 'i'm sorry.' None of them care. They don't even know. Not that it matters.   
  
Sorry can't bring him back. Sorry means nothing to me.  
  
  
  
{Come on, now,   
  
I hear you're feeling down.   
  
Well I can ease your pain   
  
And get you on your feet again.   
  
Relax.   
  
I'll need some information first.   
  
Relax}  
  
It was raining that night, I recall. The night that all my life went to hell. The night that he died.   
  
His friends had all been there, Holding each other,  
  
Crying with each other, Comforting each other. Yet none of them bothered to comfort me. They didn't understand,   
  
How important he was to me. Hell, They all said it was my fault in the first place. That's understandable. I was the   
  
one that pulled the trigger. I was the one that supposedly put him out of his misery, Like the dog i often compared him to.  
  
If the police hadn't have discovered his will, Explaining that he wanted me to do it,I would be in prison right now.   
  
Not even i, The great seto kaiba could get away with murder. But was it really murder? In his eyes, I was only doing what   
  
he wanted. In his eyes; Beautiful eyes, I was setting him free.  
  
{Just the basic facts.   
  
Can you show me where it hurts?   
  
There is no pain you are receding   
  
A distant ship, smoke on the horizon.   
  
You are only coming through in waves.   
  
Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying.}  
  
Please, believe me. I was doing what was right. I was only setting him free from the confinments of hs sickening prison.   
  
I would like nothing more than to take it all back. Or even to forget. Even the happy memories only bring me pain.   
  
That's why i cry. I cry for him; As my crystal-like tear drops as rare as the most precious of gems fall amongst the   
  
already moist soil of his grave. I cry, As i remember. It was 2 years ago today that Joey was diagnosed  
  
with some sort of cancer. I'm afraid i can't remember the exact name of it. With the proper treatment, They said   
  
Joey could live out the rest of his life and die an old man. They said it was up to him, To live or not.   
  
But i guess Joey just didn't want to bother trying to fulfill that promise those people had made him. He said some times,  
  
The pain was unbearable. He would some times wake me in the middle of the night, Coughing up blood and clutching his   
  
stomach in pain, Or maybe a fever that would get so severe he would spend up to weeks in the hospital.   
  
The treatment was even worse. It demanded constant attention. A painful shot once every morning and   
  
night, And that required time i just didn't have. He said the treatment made him feel weak,   
  
Both physically and emotionally. He'd pass out at random times, And always  
  
seemed to be in the worst of places. I remember once, In a business meeting we both had to attend, He had slumped   
  
over onto my shoulder and woke up two weeks later in a hospital. It scared me beyond belief. That was before we knew.   
  
I'm greatful though, That he had it much better than most cancer victims. No vomitting or  
  
bleeding in embarrassing places, And he never lost a stran of his gorgeous golden hair. But in return,   
  
He lost his life, Only because he hadn't had the strength to endure the agony of both the treatment and the desease.   
  
So one night, He was laying on what would have been his death bed, Simply basking in the serenity of the silence   
  
that surrounded us, All exept for the pitter patter of rain drops on our roof top. He turned to me, and asked   
  
"Seto, would you open that top drawer in the desk?" I was curious, But i didn't question him. I took out a small   
  
key we kept just underneith the said writing desk in the corner of our room. There, sitting amongst a bright  
  
purple velvet cushion, Was a small silver revolver. And judging by the empty box of bullets sitting beside it,   
  
It was loaded. "See that gun?" He asked, His voice becoming weaker with his every word. I had nodded, and let out a choked   
  
'yes' as my nerves shook with the sheer thought of what he intended to do with it."You know what i want you to do with it."  
  
He spoke again, Answering my silent question, His voice now a mere whisper, Barely audible amongst the rain which was now   
  
pouring out side of our window. I gulped and nodded shakily. As i grabbed the gun and opened the chamber to find that it   
  
was indeed fully loaded, I let out a shaky breath and walked over to the bed. Silent tears left twin wet trails down Joey's   
  
cheeks as he gave me a shaky nod and closed his eyes, keeping a completely straight face as he did so.  
  
  
  
So i lifted the gun, Pointed to his head, Then lowered it to his stomach, Deciding that i wanted no blood to stain my   
  
love's perfect face. The face of the angel. I stopped,Hesitant to do it, Wondering for a brief moment if this was all some   
  
stupid test to see if i would really be willing to kill my own boy friend. I was just waiting for Joey  
  
To Sit up and yell 'gotcha' And tell me it was all a joke. But as Joey's eyes slowly blinked open, i noticed that they   
  
held only truth in their now darkened caramel colored depths. "Go on." He said, As he took my hand and gently pushed it   
  
down so that it was now lightly pressed against his gut. He nodded to me one last time,   
  
Then closed his eyes, As i did the same, And i did it. I pulled the trigger. That was the last  
  
time i would ever see those beautiful brown eyes again.  
  
{When I was a child I had a fever   
  
My hands felt like two balloons.   
  
Now I've got that feeling once again   
  
I can't explain you would not understand   
  
This is not how I am.   
  
Ah ah ah ah I have become comfortably numb.}  
  
Now, i couldn't feel worse about it as i look up at the large head stone carved into the shape of an angel. An angel   
  
straight from heaven. That's what he is. But i guess even angels have to leave this world, Some time. they belong with god.   
  
Or so i've heard. I'm not a very religious man. I'm the type of person Who only believes in what can be seen,   
  
And any thing else is pure insanity. Joey once told me that his family was catholic, Though i'm pretty sure he was not.  
  
Old withering flowers now soaked in the rain lie upon his grave, Though they'll soon be gone as some one, Whether it be   
  
his family, His friends, Or my self decide to replace them. Actually, That was what i was here to do, I recall.   
  
So i pick up the old dying flowers and toss them aside as i place a fresh large bouquet of sun flowers amongst the various   
  
cards and pictures on his grave. Sun flowers were always Joey's favorite. We had a whole garden of them once, In our back   
  
yard.A whole garden built just for him.It was one of our favorite places. In fact, One of the previously mentioned   
  
pictures was one of Joey and i, Sitting on the edge of a large fountain in the middle of our garden, My self looking off   
  
in the distance of the many acres of the yellow flowers he was so attached to, And Joey smiling fondly at me, His large   
  
doe eyes sparkling with happiness and life. Mokuba had taken it after spying on us from behind one of the hedges that   
  
lined the cobblestone path that led to the said fountain. I must admit, It's a beautiful picture. The golden hues of the   
  
sun set casting over Joey's pristine features, Giving him an angelic look that was now truly befitting.   
  
I have no right to be sad though, For i'll soon be with him.   
  
In happiness, for all eternity.   
  
{O.K.   
  
Is Just a little painprick.   
  
There'll be no more aaaaaaaaah!   
  
But you may feel a little sick.}  
  
That's right. I've decided to take my own life. But you see, I have no life if i can't spend it with him. This is the only   
  
way. I won't wait until i'm an old man to finally be with him. So i reach into my coat pocket, And pull out a small silver   
  
revolver. The very same revolver that took the life of my one and only love. And soon, It will  
  
take my life as well.  
  
{Can you stand up?   
  
Now I do believe it's working,   
  
ah ah, ah ah Gonna keep you going through the show   
  
Come on it's time to go.  
  
Gonna keep you going through the show  
  
Come on it's time to go}  
  
I look over my reflection in the cold cool silver that makes out the figure of the gun. I look like hell. There are dark   
  
circles under my eyes, Indicating that i haven't slept in weeks, My face, If possible, Is even paler than usual,   
  
And my hair looks oily and slick, The healthy shine completely gone from the now greyish tresses.  
  
That's ok. I'll have no use of this body once i complete my task. So i take the revolver, Check the barrel to comfirm that   
  
it's full, Hold it to my heart, And..........  
  
{There is no pain you are receding   
  
A distant ship, smoke on the horizon.   
  
You are only coming through in waves.   
  
Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying.   
  
When I was a child I caught a fleeting glimpse   
  
Out of the corner of my eye.   
  
I turned to look but it was gone   
  
I cannot put my finger on   
  
The child is grown,   
  
The dream is gone.   
  
Ah ah ah ah I have become comfortably numb  
  
Ah ah ah ah I have become comfortably numb.}  
  
I pull the trigger.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Two graves sat side by side in the emptiness of the town of domino as the rain poured down amongst the concrete side walks   
  
and the collection of large buildings reaching out to the cloudy sky, Filled with unfamiliar faces that go about their   
  
daily lives like nothing happened. They read; Joseph 'Joey' Wheeler-  
  
Born 1/1/87; Died 4/7/002. Seto Kaiba- born 9/14/86; Died 4/7/003. They will be missed  
  
~*End*~  
  
(A/N: Ok. I didn't get many reviews for this, And the ones i DID get mostly had complaints about grammer and spelling.  
  
And i must admit i got a little sloppy on that with this one. So i went through it and fixed it, And i'm using a different  
  
text type. Hope this is a little better! R&R please 


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